5 Things I’m Fine With My Daughter Getting Suspended Over

My junior high experience was like living through a neocon reboot of Lord Of The Flies. Teenaged boys rampaged through the hallways, waving their tiny naked dicks and setting fires while we girls sat through lectures, preparing for an anxiety-ridden, people-pleasing life of genetic inferiority. So you can’t imagine the relief I felt when I found out the school my daughter was going to was one of those modern ones where sacrificing both pigs and fellow students was frowned upon. Until I realized that because of the strictness of those rules, my daughter was going to be the one getting…

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