Forgotten Real Housewives Who Need To Come Back | Betches

Now, you’re probably wondering what is a “one and done”? This is what I call a housewife who is only on for one season and then fired. Some need to go ASAP, and Bravo usually does a good job at realizing who has staying power and who doesn’t. But there are some who I feel deserved a second chance. It is hard for any housewife to come on and join an already established cast, especially when some cities have been on TV for 10+ years. What is the perfect recipe for a good housewife? You have to be confrontational, or…

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A Deep Dive Into The New Generation Of Celebrity Kid Influencers

Luckily for us, these relics of yesteryear found equally beautiful partners to procreate with, and the result is a master race of celebrity children, who have collectively decided it’s time to become famous. Since you already know I’m going to leave her off the list, but these are the cool kids she’d hang out with at school if she, you know, ever went to school. So let me introduce you to the genetically-blessed celebrity kid influencers that you really ought to know, the ones that shine so bright they’re destined to become “self-made” billionaires. : The most iconic model of…

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All The Times The Vanderpump Rules Cast Cheated Betches

In Los Angeles, there are a few things that are abundant. Sunshine, Botox, and cheaters. It’s the land of Stassi Stassi, the chin-implanted OG Queen of SUR, was a victim of one of the biggest cheating scandals on reality TV, thanks to her douchebag boyfriend at the time, Jax. His cheating was so bad that it overshadows her probably emotional affair she was having with complete sleaze Frank, another SUR lackey. Frank went on to share and attempt to sell a video of Stassi masturbating. What gems. Jax The original king of f*cking up. Who hasn’t Jax slept with? After passionately denying…

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7 Real People Who Singlehandedly Screwed Entire Economies

The stock market is even more powerful than you realize. Which is saying something, right? Much like Han Solo is pretty sure he can imagine infinite money, you believe you know the world’s combined wealth is mighty. But did you know a lot of Traditional Upstanding Stock Market Business is simply rich people gambling? And did you know individual rich people, regular people, and even children have steered the entire world economy into a ditch more times than your history teacher can count? On this week’s episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Gaby Dunn for an…

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How Global Sporting Events Run On Bribes & Help Dictators

Soccer: it’s the sport the rest of the world calls “football”, despite how loud America yells otherwise. It’s also the global obsession that peaks every 4 years with a World Cup. This year’s Cup is about to start in Russia. 2026’s Cup is about to get awarded to the United States and Canada and Mexico, maybe. And everyone is abuzz about which of the perennial contenders (minus Italy, minus the Netherlands) will win it all. That passion for the game means big crowds, big glory, and big money. But did you know it also created the world’s most brazen white…

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6 Underreported Reasons Why The NRA Is Just The Worst

With AR-15s in the news because of [insert this week’s horribly depressing reason here], there’s a chance you might be feeling rather peeved at the organization making sure guns are plentiful and easy to purchase in America, the National Rifle Association. But regardless of your politics, you’ve got to give the NRA some credit for their skill at hiding horrifying stories that would kill any other organization. Their feats range from preventing any real attempts at studying firearm violence to, well … The Miraculous Cat That Survived THREE Shipwrecks The new argument is that silencers could help prevent hearing loss…

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‘The Devil Wears Prada’ Is Getting A Sequel

You probably knew that your favorite movie to watch on E! all the time was a book first. Now, writer gives us the sequel we all deserve, i.e., one that doesn’t focus on Andrea. I mean, can any of us shake the imagery of that character portrayed by Anne Hathaway in one horrible cerulean sweater? I think not. So anyway, the book, out June 5, 2018, centers on the real star of the show, Emily. It’s called . TBH, that title is on brand enough for any betch to pick up as her 2018 beach read without even knowing it…

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5 Things I’m Fine With My Daughter Getting Suspended Over

My junior high experience was like living through a neocon reboot of Lord Of The Flies. Teenaged boys rampaged through the hallways, waving their tiny naked dicks and setting fires while we girls sat through lectures, preparing for an anxiety-ridden, people-pleasing life of genetic inferiority. So you can’t imagine the relief I felt when I found out the school my daughter was going to was one of those modern ones where sacrificing both pigs and fellow students was frowned upon. Until I realized that because of the strictness of those rules, my daughter was going to be the one getting…

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